Halfchai

Post-it Memory

I seldom write when I’m happy or elated, I’ve noticed. Maybe it’s something that I resort to when I’m gloomy and looking inward. Akin to staring at a wall of post its, each one with a memory- some elaborate and some sparse. Maybe I drew on one of them today.

It was one of the many birthdays that had been rained on in more than one way. An exam was to follow the next day and I stared blankly at a text book where the words looked more like shapes. I’d read through the same page over and over. I was a gloomy nine year old feeling sorry for herself. I heard the gate and abandoned the book all too eagerly. In walked Raju, with Rutvik and his dad. I felt suddenly important, but managed to ignore most everything when I saw a little black pup in Rutvik’s very skinny arms. Most of the conversation is now a blur. However, the memory of the two of us doting over the little pup in front of a massive cooler is very vivid. The pup was rather quiet, almost intimidated by it’s surroundings. 

A moments exhilaration followed when I was told it was my birthday gift. I’d wanted a pup for as long as I could remember. Even my bedtime stories revolved around it. Anyhow, I say ‘a moments exhilaration’ because Dhun said we couldn’t keep it. At the time, it seemed almost cruel, but I did understand. The only other vivid instance in that distant memory was the pup being reluctant to leave my lap- I took solace in that. Rutvik was kinder than most kids. Maybe he was relieved to have his black bundle with him on the car ride back, but he did empathise. The last thing I remember were a pair of beady eyes, I doubt I noticed much else.

Years passed and finally we got Bambi. To say that I was elated, was an understatement. Every now and then I thought of Rutvik and the pup. A fair amount of time has passed before I saw Rutvik again, I think. The setting and other details aren’t something I can recall, but I do remember asking about the pup. The look on his face made me regret the fact that I broached the subject. Even under that very grey cloud that had suddenly come over, he was kind and said it was a good thing I couldn’t take the pup that day.

Maybe I shouldn’t end on a blue note- He is now married to one of my closest friends and grey clouds don’t dwell nearby.

For Baba… for reading my blog.